just knowing that you're here with me now, it changes everything lord. cause i thought that i had to make it on my own, but you stopped that and claimed me as your own. you stopped that and called me yours. so don't give up on me now, cause i'm scared and i need you strong when i'm weak; hold on and believe in me. when my heart just can't figure out what it wants, please give me a reason to trust you'll still fight for me.

let's survive this together; we've been through so much together already, but i want to live through this with you. this is why i'm alive; it's moments like this one together with you. let's just take tonight and breathe again. you feel pain tonight. you won't always feel this way. you feel pain tonight, and it's gonna be okay. it's gonna be okay. let's survive this together.

wow, so, pretty much the worst week ever.

how do i even begin to deal with something like this? it's not even within the realm of anything i ever thought i'd have to experience. "army girlfriend"? me? yeah right. but i guess you can't help who you fall in love with. how do i express how devastated i am without making him feel guilty? how do i get over being mad at him for signing back up in the first place? how will i handle him being in afghanistan for who knows how long? the person i talk to constantly, all day every day, my best friend, the person i miss if i don't see him for one day . . . how in the hell do i cope with that? he won't be here. i only have the rest of october and all of november, and then christmas. and then he's gone. how do i make every day count without being obsessive about the fact that he's leaving? will this relationship that technically just started be able to hold up to a year or more of separation?

all i can say is . . . god give me strength.

i think you took my heart away when you said you were leavin', cause right now i am hurting all over again. i never thought that i'd be in this place, it's a mistake. and now i don't know how much more that i can take. i'm breakin' at the cracks, and everything goes black. it's another heart attack, and i can't handle it. oh, love, i need you back. i know that i'll get through this; i'm feeling stronger somehow. i got my feet back on the ground, no turning around. and i'll be everything you always said that i could be. if only you'd be right here, waiting for me patiently. oh never would i take you back, my heart was full of love and i will wipe these tears, and i will laugh, if only i could make it last. i'm breakin' at the cracks, and everything goes black. it's another heart attack, and i can't handle it. oh, love, i need you back. i need you back.